tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4079681358332005341.post6227630198543216781..comments2023-03-22T08:50:03.413-04:00Comments on Diary of a Scapegoat: A realization...DisturbedAngelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18225187766715006090noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4079681358332005341.post-13987533141038086412011-02-21T23:03:26.505-05:002011-02-21T23:03:26.505-05:00Very beautifully said. Just saying:"Thank yo...Very beautifully said. Just saying:"Thank you for sharing", sounds trite:) I'm VERY grateful for your thoughts on such private things. <br /><br />Yes, you and I get that it's our responsibility to do what we can with what we've got. Sounds so light and breezy, but you know how much effort it takes for us adult children of narcissists to even have our own thoughts in the first place. <br /><br />At 51, I'm starting to take over more and more of my own "thought world" (I can't call it *reclaiming*, because my parents constantly invaded or discounted my thoughts, so this is all New Territory!). Sometimes, I feel like I spend the better part of the day just swatting away subconscious put-downs and general negativity that my selfish parents nonchalantly shoved into my head decades ago. I usually first think: "What a stupid thing to do!" or "What can you do right?" After hearing that in my head, I stop what I'm doing, remind myself that's my silly parents chattering lies in my head and tell myself I'm intelligent and kind. Very Sloooow progress, but I'm making some headway:)<br /><br />I must be doing *something* right. My 25 yo son just texted me: "Love ya." He does that frequently. We keep helping each other through the tough times:). <br /><br />I think becoming a mom myself opened my eyes the *most* to my own confusing, sad, lonely and scary childhood and led me to push fast and hard to repair what I could. At 40, I realized I didn't really exist as a separate person from my parents, so I embarked on discovering what I liked, felt and wanted for myself. <br /><br />Weird journey...lots of emotional pain...no shortcuts. My DH and my DS make it all worthwhile:) Sounds like you're traveling the same road I'm on:) Keep on truckin'!!Jasminehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07166710072227657016noreply@blogger.com