Am still SUPER busy right now painting, packing, cleaning, etc. but I wanted to take the time to let you all know about an amazing post I read earlier over at One Angry Daughter about the power of our words and their potential effects on other people. Head on over and check it out. I think you all will appreciate it as much as I did.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Just wanted to let you all know...
We are in the process of trying to ready our house for sale so we can put it on the market as soon as possible. This is in large part due to financial reasons (mainly due to dh's employer who, in the past three years, have cut out insurance coverage, cut overtime AND haven't given dh a raise in over five years, meanwhile the cost of living has continued to go up) but also because we feel it's just time to move on from this house. We've found a lovely older home the next town over that is exactly what we've always wanted and are really hoping we can get it. At any rate, as I will be super busy for the next couple months, I don't know how many posts I'll be able to make and I just wanted to let you all know that I haven't forgotten about you!
Aside from trying to spruce up the house and declutter and pack, things are going pretty well at the moment. NM has actually been pretty nice and, dare I say, supportive lately. I contacted my aunt N thinking surely she must have said something to NM that had an effect on NM's behavior. Imagine my surprise to find that aunt N hadn't spoke with NM in a while, nor had my GM or anyone else. Maybe NM decided to try a new tactic?
No worries. I'm not going to just jump back into a relationship with NM because she's being nice all of a sudden. I've heard enough horror stories to know that it won't last, and/or may be just another trick. But it IS nice to have a break from the criticism and negativity for a bit.
In case anyone's wondering, I had sent NM an email a couple weeks ago saying that I needed some space right now to focus on myself. To be honest, I had expected NM to respond very critically and just go quickly downhill from there. It was nice to have NM respond with what amounted to, "Whatever you need. When you're ready to contact me again, you know where to find me." NM HAS had a few rare moments where she acts like a normal, loving mother. Like the time I was passing that kidney stone and in so much pain. NM was so nice and supportive to me those two days. It felt wonderful. Though, when it was over, it hurt to lose that brief moment of what I'd been dreaming about most of my life. At any rate, perhaps this is one of those rare moments.
I'll still check in regularly to approve any comments made and will post if/when anything happens worth posting about. Take care!
Until then,
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About Me
- DisturbedAngel
- I am 38 years old, married to a wonderful, loving man and the proud stay-at-home mama to a beautiful little boy. I grew up with a narcissistic mother and abusive stepfather. My half sister has always been the golden child and I, the family scapegoat who can never seem to measure up. After years of bending over backward to try and have a good relationship with my half sister, I finally severed contact in March of 2009. Then, in January of 2010, I also severed all contact with my narcissistic mother. (Updated to add that as of May 2011, I've also cut ties with my narcissistic father and stepmother as well.) Currently, I am back in contact with my NM in a limited capacity. Walking away from all that toxicity was a LONG time coming but I can't believe how much better I feel because of it. This diary is intended primarily to be a log of my journey toward healing from the abuses I've endured. I hope it will also become a place where others who've been cast as the family scapegoat or who've been the victims of a narcissist's abuse can find comfort in knowing they aren't alone.