Found an amazing post today over at Emerging From Broken about difficulty crying or feeling ashamed for crying. I definitely recommend you head on over and check it out.
This is something I've struggled with for a long time now. I'll feel sad and start to cry only to have my body shut down and not be able to cry any longer. I've tried many things, including trying to stay in the moment or watching a "tear-jerker", but nothing seems to work. I simply cannot cry more than a few seconds, if I can even start at all.
After reading the post over at Emerging From Broken, I definitely think that my inability to cry is due to the message I got growing up that crying was somehow "bad" or "wrong" when I was the one doing it. It was okay for everyone ELSE to be upset and cry, but not me. When I cried, I was told to shut up or I'd be "given something to cry about". I hadn't realized it before but I find I DO feel guilty and like I burden when I'm upset or feel the need to cry. And like Darlene, I've also felt that anger aimed at myself because I'm upset. Definitely something I need to work on.