Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Bad dreams...

Don't know what it is lately but I keep having dreams of being back in that house with NM, NSJ and NHS again. I have been under some stress recently so perhaps that's it.

The first night, I dreamt that I was at a huge yard sale and NM was there. I kept finding these awesome ironstone pieces and was super psyched because they were all just a couple of bucks. I'd turn round to look at something else and then turn back to find my awesome finds had either disappeared or had turned into some ugly pieces that I didn't like at all. It was a very strange dream.

The next night, I dreamt I was back in that house and NSJ was being horribly verbally abusive as usual. Finally, having had enough, I announced I was done with their shit and was moving out. The problem was, I couldn't seem to find all of my stuff as it was scattered all over the house, seemingly in every room. The dream house wasn't the house we'd lived in in real life, it was a huge monster of a house with a ton of rooms and closets. I kept going all over the house, finding a thing here and a thing there and the whole way, NHS and NSJ are just verbally abusing the hell out of me. I was super pissed when I woke up from that dream and just kept thinking to myself, "I HATE that man. I swear, I HATE him!"

Had a couple other small dreams involving NM last night but don't remember them anymore now.

These dreams are less and less these days but I still hate when they happen. I almost always wake up in a bad mood afterward. They also get me to thinking about all the shit I had to endure and put up with while living with those people which usually winds up with me feeling angry.

I keep longing for the day that these dreams either stop altogether, or I finally feel so little for all of them - NM, NHS and NSJ - that I can easily shrug the dreams off and not give them another thought.

1 comment:

  1. After 7 years of counseling I am still woken up by nightmares but once I am awake, I no longer have that heart pounding I can't sleep anymore feeling. My reaction now, "Oh, its that nightmare again. What's stressing me?" Then I roll over and go back to sleep. I am looking forward to a time when I don't wake up from nightmares. (I have had extreme nightmares since I was 5 years old.) I hope your nightmares ease up.