Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Sometimes I just get sick and tired of it all...

Yesterday on Facebook, my aunt N posted this as her status message:

I have carried a baby within my body. I have nourished and comforted a child on my chest. I have kissed booboos, wiped tears, been woken up in the middle of the night to a feverish child and more, but I wouldn't have it any other way. My body isn't magazine perfect, but when I look in the mirror, I see a Mom and there is NO greater honor. I Love and cherish my kids!!!

(Let me be clear here, as there was come confusion when I posted about this on the DoNM board, that this was not what I took issue with. That part is coming up.)

Because, as a proud mom myself, I wholeheartedly agreed with her sentiment, I posted "AMEN!!" as a response. Shortly after that, my NGM chimed in with: "You're so right N, having children is the most wonderful gift from God." THIS was the part that caused me to roll my eyes.

It's not that I was hurt exactly, it was more a feeling of, "Seriously? Again with the stupid P/A game playing?" *sigh* It was the feeling of being sick and tired of my N FOO never just coming out and saying what's on their mind but instead playing these little mind games all the time. And I actually probably wouldn't have thought anything of it at all had it not been posted after my response and/or had my NGM not made similar comments before that were later confirmed by others to be intended as P/A.

At this point, I'd almost rather just receive a nasty, scathing email from each of them and be done with it all. These constant P/A games are like trying to watch a movie and having a gnat keep flying into your field of vision or like having one of those itches that you can't scratch. Not painful but a major nuisance and irritating as all hell.

For the record, the problem has since been taken care of. I had already blocked a few of my N FOO members several months ago when I originally unfriended all of them on FB. However, several people had their settings set in such a way that only people on their friends list could search for them so when I tried to block them, I was unable to find them. Thankfully, someone on the DoNM board knew another way I could do it so I was able to block the remaining people yesterday. YAY! So now, I no longer have to worry about seeing their stupid comments and wonder "Did they mean that to be nasty or not?".

On a bit of a side note, I continue to be amazed at how far I've come in just a few months. Even as recently as July, I think something like the P/A jab on FB probably would have upset me quite a bit and I'd have continued hurting and chewing on it for at least a couple days. Instead, yesterday I merely rolled my eyes and thought, "Oh for pete's sake! Again?!" and set about finding a way to take care of the problem.

It'll be interesting to see how I continue to heal and grow now that I'm NC.


  1. Hi there, I'm on the DoNM forum too and have seen your comments there. I'm right behind you on the NC, four months for me. I know what you mean about Facebook. I have to block parts of my profile from certain family members just to keep things civil. If they have something to say they can send me a direct private message.

  2. Im hear with you sister. for month i have grieved. i was the only one who came up and agreed with the NPD diagnosis for my NM. F O O say that cos i was the oldest NM didnt know what to do with me and i keep getting denial and excuses from FOO so part of me was still in dinial. NM friend phoned me yesterday and told me that she believed me and can see whats happening.By her validating it for me this has allowed me to truly believe it in my heart and finnish my grieving period.