Called up my chiropractor's office earlier today to ask them to fax a document over to my dh's office so that he could send it in to get reimbursed our out-of-pocket expenses. Just as I'm getting ready to say goodbye and hang up, the girl says to me, "Oh. By the way (NM's name) says to say hello."
It was one of those almost surreal moments. The kind of moment you see in a movie where a person receives an anonymous call where the other person on the end says, "You have only 7 days left to live" or something like that. It was very cryptic and it left me feeling gut-punched and violated. One second I'm going about my business and asking for a document to be faxed and then - BOOM! - the bomb drops and there's this weird message from NM being delivered.
I paused, shocked, for a second and replied, "Wait. What? She actually told you specifically to say hello to me?", to which the girl replied, "Yes."
WTFH??! I didn't know whether to laugh hysterically at the absurdity of the situation or scream in anger at the sheer violation of it all. How DARE that bitch bring my doctor and his staff into this! How dare she!!!
WTFH??! I didn't know whether to laugh hysterically at the absurdity of the situation or scream in anger at the sheer violation of it all. How DARE that bitch bring my doctor and his staff into this! How dare she!!!
I scoffed, thanked the girl for delivering the "message" - because, truly, she thought she was just being nice and doing her job, she has no idea the depths of NM's dysfunction - and then hung up.
Not so much as a single word from NM in nearly a year now. It will officially be 11 months of NC as of the 9th of December. No phone calls, no emails, no letters, no gifts or cards (save for a couple for ds) including nothing on my birthday this past summer and then now this cryptic "message" via my chiropractor.
What the hell is this bitch trying to pull? Was it intended to let me know she won't be forgotten? Is she planning some larger contact soon to follow up? Or was it more of a cryptic message that she will not be so easily gotten rid of by me? Whatever the case, if she thinks it's going to cause me to "come to my senses" and come running back to her, she's even crazier than I think she is. This is precisely the reason I walked away in the first place, these sick, dysfunctional games she's always playing. It's also the reason why I'll be staying away for good.
Anyways, after feeling upset by this for about an hour, I finally decided to nip it in the bud. I called up and casually left a message for my chiro to call me back at his convenience. Being that I've been seeing him for so long - about 17+ years at this point, off and on but mostly on - he's more of a family friend than just a doctor. I feel comfortable talking to him so he knows the deal with NM, why I went NC and so on. Hence, I didn't feel wrong in addressing the issue with him. I kept it casual, told him I just wanted to bring it to his attention so he could handle it as he saw fit. Mainly I said I just wanted to ensure it didn't happen again and that this particular avenue was shut off to NM. As expected, Dr. L was happy I'd felt I could call and talk with him about this and assured me he'd handle it and there would be no more "messages" passed along. He went on to say that he was doubly glad I'd called because this was actually a violation of patient confidentiality and there shouldn't be any passing along of messages anyway. Then he asked if I was okay. I told him I would be fine, that it had just caught me off guard and he said that I'd made such great progress since going NC and he'd hate it if I allowed this to derail that. I assured him it would not and we said goodbye and hung up after he again reassured me he would handle it immediately.
In all, I'm glad I went through with calling, especially since it turned out to also be an issue with the patient confidentiality thing. At least now I can be sure that this avenue has also been cut off to NM and there won't be any future "messages" from her. Still, the fact that she would have the nerve to involve my doctor just galls me to no end. How DARE she! But, then, N's know no boundaries, do they?
Needless to say, I'm now positive that the coming Christmas holiday will not pass without incident. At the very least, there will be a present for ds mailed to the house. Here's to hoping that's ALL it turns out to be.
That's horrible. I'd feel really violated if my N did that. I think it goes to show how Ns use well-meaning people and loose contacts as tools.
ReplyDeleteSorry this happened, and congratulations on 11 months of NC.
Amazing the ways they find, isn't it? I'm glad you were able to address this situation in a positive manner. I'm sure the girl thought she was doing the right thing, but that's precisely how Ns take advantage. Hopefully you've cut off her final avenue, it's pretty lame when you have to go through your doctor's office!
ReplyDeleteYour NM is sick in the mind. By casually mentioning your NM's greeting, the clerk at the chiro office was used as a pawn, orchestrating the antics of your NM. It saddens me to think of how these awful Ns must stay awake at night and think of ways to keep people off guard. I really believe they derive some sick pleasure from it.
ReplyDeleteAnd what that shows me, is that their tactics do NOT end. These are good things to keep in mind to bolster NC or LC.
Last Xmas, the N in my life sent a Xmas card to my best friend, a woman I've known for over 25 years. My friend mentioned to me that there were very unfavorable things said about me in the card. There was no "how are you? How is your family?" in the card. It was just a rant against me. My friend shares this with me and said, "frankly, I think N is DEMENTED." To which I agree -- but yeah, I was astonished that N would take her campaign of hatred to a longtime friend of mine that lives across the country in an entirely different state.
This shows me that their true nature does not change, and it is always good to stay vigilant.
I'm so sorry that this incident happened, and I can understand how it must have caught you off guard. Your NM has a lot of nerve! I would have felt the exact same way! I am not sure how you would feel about this, but I would almost be inclined to have a brief word with the receptionist in the chiro office and state that you NM is disturbed and to please NOT pass on any further "messages".
I'm so glad you spoke up to your chiropractor and stood up for yourself. That took guts. His clerk absolutely violated patient confidentiality and I'm glad the matter can be resolved.
ReplyDeleteIt reminded me of my own Nparents recruiting someone from our town to pass a message on to our oldest son last month. It's so underhanded how they get these innocent people involved.