Just had an awful realization..........when it comes to my dad and NSM, I'M THE GOLDEN CHILD!! ACK! Talk about an awful thing to be. About the only thing worse I can think of is being the scapegoat!
I realized this as I was talking to my HS (the good one) the other day. She was telling me that NSM was once again berating her for another "wrong" she and HB had supposedly committed. This time it was that neither of them had called the GM's over Thanksgiving. NSM pulled the "This could be their last Thanksgiving!" card. *eyeroll* I thought to myself, 'Well I didn't call the GM's either yet I didn't get reamed out by NSM.'
Then I remembered a couple days previous when I was talking with NSM on the phone. She was - again - complaining about HS and HB. This time it was their "crime" of "living in sin" with their chosen partners. Both NSM (and my dad according to NSM) are pissed off. When I felt NSM was pushing for me to agree with her, I said instead, "Well I can't really comment seeing as dh and I lived together for a few years before getting married." NSM's response was to say, "Well, that's okay. It's totally different because of the abusive household you had to grow up in. I could understand why you'd want to get out as soon as you could but that's not the situation with HS and HB at all." And that isn't the first time exceptions have been made for me either.
If it's any consolation, GC and SG are just how *they* want to perceive you. You, and You Alone, decide what role, if any, you play in their lives. You Are The Boss of Your Own Life!!!!! How cool is that?:)
ReplyDeleteMy older brother is the GC in my family. He's very messed up. I'm NC with my nparents for a year and a half and have only contacted my brother once during that time to wish him a happy birthday. A few months later,he sent me a late 51st bday card..."I'm thinking about you"...*shiver*!!!
This Christmas he will realize that he's in the NC pile himself. (I'm working through this new problem with my counselor. Wish I could send the bill to GC and NF).
Most likely my older brother will call NF after I ignore him on Christmas and they'll talk dirt about me. My guess, NF will be so angry at me for "mistreating" *him* through GC, that he'll contact me somehow to berate me and possibly threaten to take me out of the will. Big Deal!! (I hope he puts it all in writing...it'll go in my special file:).
I doubt there will be very much money to leave in their will for my 2 brothers. NF told me a couple years ago that he bought their house with an additional bedroom, so "when I die, you can move in and take care of mom". He assumed wrong.