Happy fucking Birthday to me...

Several weeks ago, dh and I decided to purchase a Siberian husky mix pup from a lady who'd advertised them for sale on our local craigslist page. Truth be told, it was more of a rescue effort. Our pup was the only one left for sale - according to her though, ironically, after we got our pup, she listed two more for sale the following day. When we went to look at him, he was being kept on a screened porch that was riddled with urine and feces and the pup was covered in fleas.

I had actually wanted another malamute but dh felt it was too soon for him what with just having lost our beloved mal girl only a few weeks previous. We'd thought when we got him that a Siberian husky was very similar to an Alaskan Malamute only a bit more hyper and a little smaller. We've since come to find out we were not prepared at all for the level of exercise and constant stimulation that this little guy will apparently need - and this is just at 8 weeks of age, we shudder to think once he gets to be 6 months or a year or more - and so have made the tough decision to go about finding him a new home. Please note that it's not that we don't want him. We've grown very fond of our little furbuddy but we realize we need to do what's best for the dog and not us which is why we've decided to try and place Ninja with another family.

We realize that this was our mistake and accept full responsibility. As such, we have been trying to do the responsible thing by continuing to care for and train Ninja as we attempt to find him a new home. I've been working overtime posting ads online and contacting various rescue groups trying to get the pup placed. Have had 8 people contact me so far but only ONE has bothered to get back with me and follow through (though she wound up being unable to take the dog after all).

We've started to get a bit desperate at this point and have stepped up our efforts to try and find Ninja a good home. As part of that, I posted some pics online and asked my friends and family if they could share the pics on their FB walls to try and reach as many people as possible. Well, dh's cousin responded with the following:

My opinion.....you take on the responsibility of another life then you see it through until it is in safe hands. You are worried about the pup "getting too bonded to you" but your option is a shelter if you cannot find him a home???? What sense does that make? Contact some animal rescue groups or take responsibility for your actions and loving see it through until you find that pup a home. You chose him....not the other way around. My apologies if I am coming off as a bitch but this is a sore spot for me. You wouldn't have "dismissed" (your ds) if he cried too much as a baby?!?!?!?

I saw it and told dh about it and he logged online to respond. Dh wrote:

I am doing the responsible thing. When I say shelter I'm not talking about the pound. I'm talking about a no kill shelter where they would look to find him a good home. We knew almost right away when we got him that it wasn't the right fit for us. The breeder was more than willing to take him back but I didn't feel that was the best place for him (long story). So, instead we've been training him, talking care of him and trying to find him a great family. A good no kill shelter has vast more resources and people looking for good pets. We've already contacted some Sibe rescue groups but they won't take him because he's not a pure breed.

Dh then added, "And to quote Judge Judy. 'Equating a human child to a dog is absolutely ridiculous, madam.'" as a means of lightening the moment. Apparently dh's cousin didn't find the humor in it and/or was not satisfied with dh's response because her next comment to him was:

Sir, not owning up to your responsibility for your poor judgment is sign of a complete jackass. -That statement is made by me.

WTFH??!! Despite it all, dh and I decided to just drop it and went on with our evening as usual.

A very short bit later, I was chatting back and forth online with my friend Tanya who I often refer to on FB as "T" which, coincidentally happens to be the same first initial as dh's cousin. Well T is a very big fan of the group Die Antwoord, as am I. We're always posting D/A related stuff to one another so I thought nothing of it when I posted a pic of Ninja from D/A flipping a double bird with a smile on his face. I posted it and wrote, "This is for you T!" and put a after it. Well dh's cousin saw it, thought it was intended for HER and wrote to me:

Thanks for the "flip off". I expected no less. Spend less time watching tv and goofing on FB and give that puppy a walk. You might find out he is a better fit then you expected.

REALLY? She "expected no less"? So then exactly what kind of person does that say she thinks I am?! To me, this seriously crossed the line beyond her initial faux pas in addressing something like this publicly instead of messaging me privately which is what dh and I agree she should have done. Instead of laying into her though, I chose to respond simply, "The "flip off" was for my friend TANYA, who I often refer to as "T" on here. My mistake. But nice to know what you really think of your cousin's wife. Thanks."

Dh, however, was PISSED and sent her a private email saying that he was disappointed in her behavior and expected far more of her. He then said he felt she owed me a major apology for singling me out and attacking me when she has NO idea about all the work I put into ALL our animals and is just blindly casting judgments. As far as I know, we've yet to hear anything back from her.

Was really hurt and angered by the whole thing. Clearly, for some time now, I have been labeled as "that woman" that dh chose to marry who has dragged him down and ruined their perfect little happy family. Mind you, for the most part - though definitely not always - they are all sweet to my face, especially if dh is within eye/ear-shot, only to trash talk me behind my back and treat me like crap whenever dh isn't around. Am angered but also deeply hurt. What the hell is it about me that everyone seems to find so horribly "bad" or "wrong"? No matter what I do, it's never good enough and I'm so sick and tired of it. I have done nothing but be kind and respectful toward all of these people. I'M the one they call when they need a favor or an ear to listen to them. And when dh's cousin came out to the family that she was a lesbian and introduced her partner to everyone, *I* was the ONLY one who welcomed her partner with open arms and didn't set to talking shit about her behind her back and calling her things like a "freak" and "abnormal" the way the rest of them did. I have been nothing but nice only to have them shit on me time and time again. Told dh last night I'm done with all of them. Am sick of being hurt and disrespected.

As if that wasn't bad enough, dh and I are on FB last night and apparently NSIL and NBIL - and of course you can bet NMIL and NFIL were there too - had some big 4th of July pool party at their house and, as seems to be the usual lately, dh and I weren't invited. I mean, it's one thing not to invite us but to then turn around and post pics of the event all over FB? That's just rude. On the other hand, I feel a bit bad for dh that his family's obvious issues with me seem to now be causing him to be excluded and treated badly as well.

Anyhoo, as a result of all this negativity, I slept horribly last night and woke up with an upset stomach and feeling nauseous. Not exactly how I'd wanted to spend my birthday but, I can't say I'm surprised. It seems dh's family finds new ways every year to ensure I know just how UN-special they think me and my day are. Happy fucking Birthday to me.