I was thinking earlier today about my NM and how many of us DONM's use the analogy of The Wizard of Oz when speaking about the whole dynamic of relating to an N. Then I started thinking about how topsy-turvy the world is when living under an N and realized it was quite like the world of Wonderland in which Alice found herself trapped.
In Wonderland, everything is sort of upside down and crazy-making. It goes against normal, healthy reality. Same goes for life under an NM. Having your NM say or do things to you only to turn around and deny it later. Never knowing what will send her into a rage - sometimes it's something legitimate like you were caught cheating on a test and, other times, it might be that you were complimented by a neighbor and your NM was jealous. Having your feelings and perceptions constantly invalidated. The whole experience can leave one not knowing which way is up or what to believe -- kind of like what I imagine Wonderland must have been like for Alice.
The upside for Alice is that she only had to spend a very short time in the chaos of Wonderland, whereas us DONM's can spend years, if not our entire lives living under the chaos of our NM's.
Another interesting correlation I found was between that of the Queen of Hearts and NM. I think many of us can relate to the Queen's screams of "OFF WITH HER HEAD!!" and the terror that Alice must surely have felt, fearing her very life was in danger. My NM may not have yelled to have my head cut off exactly, but there were certainly times I feared for my life or at least my well-being with her. And interesting how all those under the Queen of Heart's rule were frightened of her to the point that they went out of their way to ensure she was kept happy, lest they, too, incur her rage.
I can't help but wonder if the people who wrote stories like The Wizard of Oz and Alice in Wonderland had experience with narcissists in their lives. I certainly see enough correlations that it seems likely.