Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Fuck 'em all. Seriously.

So, yesterday was my birthday...and not so much as a single peep from anyone in my N FOO. No messages on Facebook (despite my GM making a comment to her "beautiful grand-daughter", my cousin J, wishing her a happy bday on the 3rd), no emails, no cards, no phone calls, NOTHING. So I've decided, fuck 'em all.

My only "crimes" are walking away from an abusive N mother, stepjerk and half sister and unfriending the rest of them on Facebook. I haven't blocked anyone or issued any "do not contact me" letters to anyone. My phone number is the same, as is my email, and I still live at the same address and the post office still delivers mail here. Anyone in my N FOO has my info and could contact me at any time they wanted to.

A NORMAL friend or family member, upon realizing they had been unfriended on Facebook, likely would have contacted me privately and said, "Hey. Just noticed you unfriended me on Facebook. Everything okay? What's going on?", which would have given me the opportunity to explain that I did so not to be stupid or malicious but because it simply hurt too much to see them all being lovey dovey with one another on FB while ignoring me. Instead, my N FOO jumped to their own conclusions about why I did what I did - apparently I was "immature" among other things - judged me based purely on NM's lies and disowned me from the family.

I wish so much I could truly believe and feel it inside myself when I say, "fuck 'em all". Sadly, it hurts. A LOT. It might not be so bad if I'd actually done something horribly wrong to warrant them now acting like I don't exist. But when my only "crime" is walking away after trying everything I knew to do for over 7 years in an effort to protect myself from outright abuse, it's just so horribly unfair. It's hard to just sit back and say/do nothing to all of them when what I want to say is "How DARE you?!! How DARE you all sit on your high horses and judge me when you know NOTHING!! You all sit there, gossiping and sniping amongst yourselves and shunning me yet you label ME immature??! Shame on all of you!!"

Sadly, given they're all a bunch of holier than thou N's, anything I say would only be a waste of time. Still, it would feel SOOOOO good to finally speak up and give them a piece of my mind.


  1. Believe me, DA, I've tried giving my narcs a piece of my mind both verbally and in writing. They just "gaslight" my feelings with..."We don't understand./You're too sensitive./All families have misunderstandings...blah, blah blah!"

    I end up feeling frustrated and, just as they had hoped, start questioning my own sanity.

    You can't lose what you never had: A normal, loving and supportive family.

    So, DA, you're spot on when you say, "Fuck 'em all!"

  2. Hope you don't mind that I posted a link to your blog on a discussion about estranged adult children:


  3. Trying to explain anything to narcs or any dysfunctional family member or toxic ex-friend is an exercise in futility.