Friday, June 4, 2010

Had another memory flash...

I was very young - maybe 5 or 6 - at the time. Our parakeet, Buster, had just died and I was heartbroken. I wrote on a few small slips of paper, "my bird is daed" and hid them in the kitchen cabinet. I suppose it was my way of coping with my grief at that young age.

Well, a few days later, I remember some family was over and my NM called me downstairs and said she had to ask me something. She asked if she could show everyone my papers I'd hidden in the cabinet. I don't remember if I was embarrassed or anything but I must have said yes because I remember getting the tiny slips of paper out of the cabinet and handing them over.

NM passed them around to everyone and began laughing hysterically as she uttered, "See?" or something like that. The hateful bitch was LAUGHING because I'd misspelled the word "dead" by switching the "a" and the "e". Oh, they all had a good laugh at my expense and I was left feeling humiliated, stupid and confused as to exactly what I'd done that was so "funny".

I cannot even begin to imagine ever mocking my son in such a cruel way. Someday soon, when our family dog, Akira's, time comes, my poor ds is going to be heartbroken and I will comfort him as best I can.
As his mother, his pain causes me pain.

How could one's own mother be so cruel? So what if it was "just a bird"? He was my pet and I loved him. It didn't matter the reason for my pain, the point was that I was hurting and it was my mom's job to comfort and console me and, instead, she took my pain and used it to hurt me further. And yet this same woman has the gall to ask me what is it she's done that's so wrong that she should deserve to be punished so by me and denied access to my son!


  1. Definitely keep that sick whack job away from your DS! She obviously feeds on pain and so enjoys creating it or making it worse.

    Hugs, mulderfan

  2. ditto here, major whack job. I'm so sorry you went through this, I feel sad for little DA, you were so sad and this shouldn't have been made MORE painful for you.

  3. Thanks all. No worries about my ds being tainted by my NM's craziness though. I'll be NC 5 months as of June 9th and I have ZERO intent to break it. EVER. ;o)