After speaking with my therapist yesterday, I'm thinking that maybe sending a short response to NSM and NF is best. Here's what I'm thinking of sending:
NSM,
I haven't responded because there's nothing more to say. I'm not going to have stuff from well over 10 - 20 years ago thrown in my face, things that I had no control over being that I was an innocent child when they occurred. I'm also not interested in engaging in some ridiculous pissing contest to prove who has/has had it worse. So, for the time being at least, I choose to step away and focus my energies and attentions on something productive, like my family with dh and ds. Should that change, I'll be happy to let you know but, until then, I've nothing more to say on the matter.
DA
In all honesty, while at present time I may feel that I don't care if I ever see or speak to them again, I don't want to be so naive as to think that might not change in the future as I continue to grow and heal. Bearing that in mind, I feel this response would end things for now while still leaving the door open somewhat should that come to pass. Admittedly, they could very well choose to slam the door on me forever and while that would certainly hurt, the decision would be on THEM and at least then I could freely walk away and not have to feel guilty or like I didn't try all that I could.
What do you all think? Seems short, sweet and to the point from my view point and lets them know exactly where I stand on the matter so there is no confusion that can be claimed on their part later.
About Me
- DisturbedAngel
- I am 38 years old, married to a wonderful, loving man and the proud stay-at-home mama to a beautiful little boy. I grew up with a narcissistic mother and abusive stepfather. My half sister has always been the golden child and I, the family scapegoat who can never seem to measure up. After years of bending over backward to try and have a good relationship with my half sister, I finally severed contact in March of 2009. Then, in January of 2010, I also severed all contact with my narcissistic mother. (Updated to add that as of May 2011, I've also cut ties with my narcissistic father and stepmother as well.) Currently, I am back in contact with my NM in a limited capacity. Walking away from all that toxicity was a LONG time coming but I can't believe how much better I feel because of it. This diary is intended primarily to be a log of my journey toward healing from the abuses I've endured. I hope it will also become a place where others who've been cast as the family scapegoat or who've been the victims of a narcissist's abuse can find comfort in knowing they aren't alone.
I think this sounds good! It's short, to the point, and tells them exactly where you stand.
ReplyDeleteIgnore the response you get--- because you know you will get one, right? (Insert 'roll eyes' icon here)
Take a Deep breath and hit send, I say!