To correct the lies, that is.
Was talking to my aunt N via email the other day and she asked if I'd ever told my NM that she was forbidden to see ds. I answered her honestly. "No. In fact, dh and I told her the exact opposite when we last spoke to her and told her that she could come by and visit with ds seven days a week if she wanted. We even went so far as to tell her that we were willing to arrange it so that MIL wasn't here when she came so she could have her own time alone to visit with ds and she stated flat out that she didn't WANT to have to come here, that she wanted to take ds out on her own WHERE she wanted, WHEN she wanted and she should be able to do so because she's my mother." Aunt N said that's what she'd thought but wanted to double check to see if anything had been said to NM since that day since NM had apparently told my GM recently that I'd forbidden her to see ds - a total and complete lie.
Since then, I've found myself wrestling with a compulsion to call or email up my extended FOO and
defend myself correct NM's lies. It's just so damned unfair. Here is this group of people, my family, and my relationships with them have all but been destroyed by NM and her vicious lies and for what? Just so NM can appear the victim of my "unreasonableness" and gain N supply from it.
And to think I'd recently begun to found myself feeling pity for the bitch. (Not that I was contemplating going back on NC or anything drastic like that, but I'd started feeling a lot less angry and resentful toward her and was finally reaching a place of peace about the whole thing. Well not anymore!) Awfully hard to feel sorry for someone - especially one's own mother - who continues to talk shit about you behind your back and smear you to anyone who'll give her the time of day.
Honestly, I wish they'd all tell her to go jump off a cliff, at least in regard to the situation with me. According to aunt N, NM is asking her about me and ds constantly. Aunt N says she just tells NM that we're "fine" and refuses to say more than that. Despite that, NM continues to call her up and inquire about us. If I could have my way on the matter, I'd have everyone say to NM to stop asking about me, that if she wants to know about me so badly, perhaps she should contact ME and ask! Not that I'd want to speak to her or respond mind you, but at least it would cut off that source of N supply for NM. It just chaps my ass that she's sitting there, not making the least bit of effort to have any sort of positive relationship with me and ds in large part because why should she have to when she's getting all the information about us from everyone else? (Hope that makes sense. I know what I'm wanting to say here but having a hard time putting it into words!)
My aunt N and GM are planning on coming down to where I live for a visit very soon. They're going to spend the night at NM's and then say they're leaving for home early and then they're going to stop by and visit with us for the day before actually heading home. Aunt N says that she's not going to lie to NM about coming here but she's not going to be the one to bring it up either, mostly because NSJ would start running his mouth about it. Which is another bone of contention for me. Here we have a "man" - (and I write it that way because NSJ is a perverted pig of a creature and not a real man) - who has made it clear my entire life how badly he wished he could be rid of me and not have to take care of me or be bothered with me in any way. Clearly, had it been an option, he'd have chosen NM and sent me away to wherever he could dump me. And now, he's finally gotten his wish. I'm GONE. I'm out of NM's and his life for good and yet it STILL isn't enough for him. He continues to badmouth me and bitch about this, that or the next thing that I've done in the past or whatever. WTFH??! The only upside to that is that it makes it all the more clear that I'M not the real issue since, even now that I'm absent from the picture, they continue to bitch about me and find fault and I haven't even spoke to them in about 14 months (2+ years in NHS and NBIL's case)!!
Asshats, the lot of them!