Majorly in need of support today...

Been a VERY rough couple of days. For starters, I haven't felt good. My IBS has been acting up (likely due to all the freaking stress) and my stomach has felt AWFUL. On Thursday morning, MIL got a call while she was here and found out her mother had fallen and been taken to the hospital. MIL got another call shortly after that where her niece told her that her M was unresponsive. MIL rushed home and she and FIL went to SC where her mom lives. MIL called later on to tell us that her M had apparently suffered a rather sizable brain hemorrhage and was in ICU. Forward to Friday, I called to check in at around noon and FIL answered and said they were finishing up the paperwork in order to take dh's GM off of life support. When dh spoke to MIL last night, MIL said that - for whatever reason - they'd decided to wait until this morning to turn off life support. It's not good news though as we were told yesterday by FIL that the doctors had said dh's GM was officially brain dead.

The funeral is expected for Monday or Tuesday. Since I can't travel due to this damned anxiety (not to mention my stupid stomach issues this week), that means dh will be going out of town with BIL and SIL on the day of the funeral. I think I've mentioned before that I do NOT handle dh going out of town well AT ALL. I have severe separation anxiety and am already beginning to freak out about it.

I also mentioned earlier this week (or maybe last week) that NSM and my dad were due in town this week. They came into my state yesterday and were supposed to be coming over today. Well, I called NSM when I found out about dh's GM to see if dh had to spend the night out of town if she and my dad could maybe stay the night with me. Stupid, I know. But I wasn't in my right frame of mind. I was panicking at the thought of being here alone with ds all night and dh being in another state, 3 1/2 hours drive away, etc. Anyways, naturally, NSM seemed majorly put out that I might interfere with her stupid vacation plans and added that dh's GM might linger on for a week or more. Nice, eh? Then she launched into chastising me about how I needed to go with dh. I told her dh and I had already talked about it and dh was cool with me staying home since I would remain back at the house anyway even if I went because we feel ds is too young to go to a funeral. THAT caused NSM to launch into me about how ds "needs to learn about these things" and that it's "a part of life" and how SHE took ME to a couple of funerals when I was ds' age - ds will be 5 later this month - blah blah yadda yadda. The way dh and I see it, ds is only 5 years old. He has a LIFETIME to learn about death and pain and suffering in the world. Why be in such a rush to expose him to it now? More to the point, ds is a very sensitive child and I fully believe that he'd be far more traumatized by going to a funeral than he would learn anything from it.

Forward to yesterday, NSM calls to find out what the update is, if any, about dh's GM. I told her the deal and she said nothing so I went on to add that dh had plans to drive down with BIL and SIL on that day and then come back the same day, later in the day. At that point NSM excitedly blurts out, "OH! Well THAT'S good!" Clearly she was nothing but relieved that dh's GM's death wouldn't interfere with her stupid vacation. Mind you, not a WORD about how she was sorry to hear about dh's GM or any inquiry how dh (or me) were feeling, etc. Just relief that she didn't have to put herself out to stay with me overnight when she'd obviously rather be with her friends. As if that's not bad enough, she then has the gall to ask if this will interfere with their plans to visit us today. WTF?!! Seriously??!! I felt like saying to her, "You know NSM, I'm just so very sorry that dh's GM deciding to DIE today has interfered with your precious vacation time!" and then hanging up on the bitch. Instead I told her that since the funeral wouldn't be until Monday or Tuesday, Saturday should still be fine. Granted, we might not feel like going out all over town shopping as planned, but they could still come by the house and visit.

NSM called this morning as dh, ds and I were on our way out the door to hit up a big yard sale down the road. She asked if today was still okay to visit and I said yes, it was fine and asked if they were still planning to be here around noon. She then said that they were tired and thinking of coming Monday instead. I told her that Monday wouldn't work as ds has school and I just generally have a lot to do during the week, etc. NSM asked for dh's

Which brings me to now. I don't want them here on Tuesday or on any other day during the week this coming week. NSM has switched plans on me about 5 times now. First they were coming the first week of April, then it was the second week, then back to the first. Then they were coming during the week, then it was Sunday. Then, just a couple days ago, she says they'd be coming today - Saturday - instead of Sunday. And now it's fu*king Tuesday they'll be here. I honestly don't want them here AT ALL at this point and I especially don't want them here with dh being out of town. On a "good" visit with them it would be too stressful given that I'll already be freaking out with dh being out of town but add to it all the crap that's been going on the past few weeks with NSM and I REALLY, REALLY don't want them here. I also don't like being alone with them because they are both bullies who know that, if they keep pushing me, I'll eventually back down and give them their way if only to get them off my back. I don't trust myself alone with any of my four parents really and I feel like NSM picked the day she did because she knows dh will likely be out of town and she can push her agenda, whatever it may be, on me.

As of right now, I just feel like crying............and/or throwing up. I hate NSM for being such a pushy, nasty bitch, I hate my dad for not speaking up and making plans with me himself instead of letting NSM call ALL the shots and I hate myself even more for not having the courage to stand up to her and tell her, "Actually NSM, Tuesday won't work for me. Weekdays are busy for me and it's just not gonna work. If you can't make it today, then perhaps Sunday. Otherwise, we'll just have to catch you next time you're in town."

This weekend totally SUCKS arse. Oh, and as I was typing this, FIL just called. Dh's GM just died about 30 minutes ago. :o( Yeah, this weekend definitely sucks.